Adding Spice to the Bedroom

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When Comfortability becomes Mundane

Sexuality is something that we should be happy with. It requires a certain degree of trust and comfort to be intimate with somebody. Over the passage of time relations get stronger, and this is a good thing. The sole problem is it may lead the way sex becoming routine with the passion that brought a couple together is forgotten.

Even if sex is fine as it is, it is in our nature to become excessively used to our partner. And because lovers have no wish to lose interest, it’s often beneficial to add something simply to switch things up.

With that in mind, you can add a deal of fun to the bedroom by trying new things. A numerous selection of toys and leading edge products are available meant to enhance sex. In fact, as our society becomes increasingly open, it is becoming the norm for couples to use toys in the bedroom.

Grown-ups Like to Play Too

Talk to your other half about using adult toys. Or surprise your lover with a toy. Adult toys may be atypical gifts, but can make great birthday or an anniversary presents. It can also be great for any old day of the week or only for the hell of it.

Consider adult toys as a way of mixing things up, which can be extremely beneficial for relations that’s gone a bit off. And with the multitude of adult novelties, it’s unlikely you and your partner will grow bored.

Maximizing Adult Toys

Being more romantic and detail orientated definitely helps. However, there is no replacement for an obsessed or passionate moment between you and your better half. If you’d like to turn up the heat in your relationship, try out some adult toys. It may provide just the spark to ignite the passion that you were trying to find.

Because let’s face it… boring can be detrimental for a relationship. Rather than allowing it to take over your love life, consider adult toys as a choice for putting the flame back into the bedroom.

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Taking Sexual Responsibility

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Being in love is a wonderful experience, but love doesn’t necessarily equate to an orgasmic sexual experience. In today’s society, so much emphasis is placed on a woman making her man gasp with thrill, while neglecting a woman’s needs.

Sexy lingerie, pornographic films, and slinky magazines. Whatever it takes to seduce a man and push him past the point of no return. Yet where does female pleasure come into play? The concept of pleasing a woman is lost some in translation.

So I ask you women, when you have sex, do you expect to orgasm? Do you orgasm more often than not? If the answer is no, why is that? Female libido is something that has a tendency to be overlooked in the area of medicine. We’re told that if we cant orgasm, it has to be our fault in some form.

Here’s the thing… it takes two to tangle. On one level, our partner should be considered about our sexual satisfaction. Their own pleasure should be the all-in-all of a sexual encounter. This is where they take responsibility for the sexual well-being of the relationship.

On the other hand, we as women also have to take responsibility. If our man (or woman) is not providing the sexual experience we want, keeping our mouths shut isn’t going to help the situation. So I say, be truthful with your companion and let him/her know whats working for you and what’s not. Don’t assume your partner knows the right moves to get you off, particularly if your partner is of the opposite sex.

Consider this scenario. Your male partner may be eager to please, but find himself racing towards a climax. To hold back, he may pause for a moment in the hope of slowing himself. He may have no problem picking up where he left off and be right back on track for an orgasm.

Some girls will appreciate the variability in his technique, but regularly ladies have to work themselves back up into the highly awakened mental state after such a pause. Unless a person has great staying power, by the point girls are highly awakened again, the guy is finished. Bummer experience.

Talking to your partner may not prevent him from taking the express train toward an orgasm. However, it may open a dialog for working on methods which puts everyone on the same track. For instance, incorporating foreplay which puts you, as a woman, closer to an orgasm before he penetrates.

The bottom line is this. Don’t assume your partner knows how to bring you to climax… communicate. Know your body and teach your partner about your body.

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Beyond Premature Ejaculation

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Beyond Premature Ejaculation

Most people take part in the sexual activity due to the sexual pleasure they experience from the orgasm. But coping with premature ejaculation can often be one of the most exasperating experiences in not only a man’s life, but also his partner. The embarrassment and stigma linked with the incapability to last can be overbearing, while also leaving his partner frustrated. For some couples, it can lead to the avoidance of sex until, and poor communication can mean the couple never works through the issues. The great news is simply that there is plenty a couple can do to put a stop to those unexpected climaxes and enjoy sex that’s truly fulfilling.

Foreplay is the key

If you’d like your love making session to last, foreplay is not just crucial, it is a must. But do you know that correct foreplay is the key to causing female orgasms, as well as removing performance and reducing nervousness that’s so frequently connected with premature ejaculation?

 

Ladies can take much longer than men to be aroused. And foreplay is the auto that amps up a woman’s sex drive and turn on their wild side.

Sex Positions or Twister?

For men, the positions chosen during sex can make a significant difference to endurance. And no, you do not have resort to those wacky positions you see in porn films. You’re not a porn star, making your next video. Those films are supposed to stimulate your senses, which can also be a part of your foreplay.

Try experimenting with 1 or 2 positions and find out together with your partner what works for you… and see which position helps your partner last longer and which positions are more enjoyable. And don’t neglect the female on top positions. The female in the dominant position is a really good one to try out, as it most men love it. Another secret is to switch positions when your guy indicates his arousal rising near the point of no return. This break in momentum may stop him from going over the edge before you’ve hit your peak.

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Thoughts on First Kiss

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First Kiss

I came across a video on first kisses recently. My first thoughts were I don’t know about that. Kissing a stranger. ugh. Yes… I’m a prude in many ways. But then I saw the video, and it got me thinking. Check it out.

First off, I thought the video was adorable. The shy awkwardness of being asked to kiss a stranger was beyond cute. Then came the kiss. My initial thoughts were a peck. Get in… get out. I was truly unprepared for the passion which went into to each kiss.

A week or so ago, the question why do people kiss? entered my mind. I couldn’t find any real good reason. I did come across an evolutionist theory, referring to primates chewing food and mouth-to-mouth feeding to offsprings. However, that doesn’t really explain the courtship/sexual kissing between males and females.

From Lips to Toes

What I found interesting was the passion which went into the kisses. There was nothing causal about it; these strangers were making out. Their entire bodies embraced the kiss. One guy held onto his gal like it’d be the last kiss he’d receive before she was ripped from his arms. Granted… some kisses were more intimate than others, but the writer in me wanted to write the book. :)

Relationship Dynamics – the New Icebreaker

What I found fascinating (and this is the psychologist in me), was the way the strangers look at each other after the kiss. For a few moments, they were no longer strangers… they were companions. Even if for a few seconds before they fell into the awkwardness again.

Afterthoughts

Watching the video, I understood why people kiss. Kissing builds trust and creates a sense of closeness.

I definitely need to work on changing my husband’s greetings from a peck to a semi-makeout session.

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Porn For Females: Dane Jones

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Good porn for females is hard to come by… at least from a woman’s perspective. Most porn available is tailored with men in mind. Usually, it focuses on pleasuring the man while neglecting the sexual needs of women. Even worse, quite a bit of porn degrades women in the process.

That’s not to say some women don’t enjoy pornography designed for men. For women who have different tastes, My Female Orgasm suggests something different.

Porn for Females

Above all, mutual pleasure for both (all) participants is important. Whether it is heterosexual, homosexual, or group sex, it’s important to see all individuals enjoying the act of foreplay and sex. This does not mean staged orgasms. Women crying out and screaming “more” or “oh god” with deadpan faces, doesn’t cut it. If a real orgasm can’t be squeezed out during the session, the fake orgasm needs to at least look real, as well as the pleasure experienced.

Touching, kissing, sucking, licking. These actions shouldn’t be one sided, with women doing all the work. Just like between real life lovers, pornography should concentrate on bringing all participants to orgasm. Many men enjoy oral sex. Likewise do many women. Additionally, oral sex can be enjoyable both on the receiving and giving side. Finger play and fondling is another activity which can be given mutually and can be a pleasure for the giver and receiver.

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They (whoever they are) say men are visual creatures. Well, women (in general) certainly aren’t blind. Pornography which focuses the camera on a woman’s face while she’s giving a blow job is limiting. Likewise, the camera only zoomed in on a penis penetrating a vagina throughout the scene is also a bit dull.

Alternatively, pornographic scenes should provide visuals of both (all) participants faces. Seeing the faces of the participants enjoy the sexual acts can be very arousing and allows the viewers to enjoy the pleasure of the participants vicariously. Full body views are important also. The entire act of sex (bodies in motion) is beautiful and arousing.

This list is not comprehensive and others are welcome to share in other comments other areas which makes enjoyable pornography for women.

Dane Jones

Dane Jones LogoAfter quite a bit of searching, I came across a site which includes all the points mentioned above. Dane Jones — It’s erotic, passionate, sensual, and made with the idea that women can enjoy pornography also.

On camera, the couples show chemistry and true enjoyment. It doesn’t degrade women and focuses on mutual satisfaction. For those reason, My Female Orgasm recomends danejones.com for couples who enjoy watching pornography together and for those who are looking to add a bit of pre-sexual excitement to the bedroom.


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For more on Dane Jones, visit their website at danejones.com.

Please share in the comments:

  • Other great porn sites for women
  • Additional aspects which make porn enjoyable for women
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Female Orgasms – In the Excitement (Top 10 List)

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I’ve been researching areas I should write about in regards to female orgasms. To do that, I use this nifty program called Market Samurai to get me started. I simply put in my keyword “female orgasm” and it’ll generate a list of relevant keywords on the subject. I loved it.

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Here’s the thing though… it even returns misspelled words. Apparently, people are so anxious to learn more about female orgasms, they can’t control their fingertips. So today… I present to you the top misspellings related to female orgasms as presented by Market Samurai.

Top 10 Misspellings Related to Female Orgasms

  1. female masterbation
  2. female orgasim
  3. female ejackulation
  4. female orgams
  5. female orgasims
  6. female orgasum
  7. female orgasams
  8. female orgasism
  9. female orgasums
  10. womens orgasim


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So tell me. What have your eager hands put into a search engine mistakenly?

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Foreplay Done Right: The On and Off Switch

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On-Off SwitchAre you looking for ways to get your woman from 0 to aroused in 2.5 seconds? If only it were that easy. The thing is, you can push just the right button and get your lady from 0 to pissed off in 2.5 seconds, but women don’t come with arousal switches.

That’s right. You’ve got to work her up to something fantastic. So what does that mean?

Foreplay does not begin at bedtime.

In fact, foreplay should begin long before you hit the bedroom (if that’s where you plan on doing the deed). The idea is to get her thinking about sex early. Be her wakeup call with tender kisses and a bit of snuggle time. From there, keep her head in the game by teasing her a little throughout the day… a touch here and there… maybe a sexy text… even a thoughtful or kind word can go a long way.

Appreciate her

It’s so easy to take people and situations for granted. Life can become routine and the little things become everyday situations. If you want to get on your gal’s good side, take time to acknowledge those everyday things she does to make life better for the two of you.

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Women want to be desired

Women may expect you to read their mind but don’t expect them to be able to read yours. Tell her how you feel about her. Let her know how sexy she is. Share with her all the things you love about her–both mentally and physical. Then show her with the way you treat her.


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The bottom line

When it comes to sex, women aren’t appliances you can turn on and off. Well, you can turn them off fairly quickly, but it can take some time to work them into a sexual frenzy. So take some time to do it right and don’t leave foreplay until the very last minute.

Share some other tips which will make a woman eager for the main event!

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Reaching the Female Orgasm: Oh God! Don’t Stop!

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If you’re lucky, you’ve heard your gal say it before. So exactly what does she mean?

EXACTLY THAT.

Don’t stop. Don’t slow down. Don’t pick up the pace… just keep doing exactly what you’re doing. That’s if you’ve got what it takes to go the long mile.

Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm

Think of the female orgasm as the peak of the mountain. You start at the bottom and work you way up. Along the way, you might hit obstacles (awkward positions and such) and find the need to make adjustments to your well though-out plan. Hiccups happen. That’s okay… at least when you’re just starting out.

Consistency is the key

Variety is wonderful when it comes to keep excitement in the bedroom. But when you’re hitting the right spot and you woman says, “don’t stop,” the last thing you want to do is trip up. Here’s why.

She’s telling in her own words (as unoriginal as they might be) that you’ve found a direct path to her orgasm. Of course, there’s no guarantee how long it’ll take to reach the top of the mountain, but whatever you do, don’t stop.

Think baseball. Bite your lip until it bleeds. Do what it takes to keep your mind off your own mountain peak and focus on hers. Here’s the bottom line. You’ve just got to keep doing what you’re doing, because whatever you’re doing is right on target.

What if I fail?

Okay… maybe not that bad. But let’s call each minor adjustment after “don’t stop” a slight slip down the mountain. Though you may not realize it, when you change your rhythm, you also set yourself a little further away from pushing her over the top. Too many changes and you might not ever reach your goal, and neither will she. :(

So, when your gal says, “don’t stop,” it’s time for you to focus on that long-lasting sustainable rhythm. Sometimes the ascent is fast; sometimes it’s slow. What’s important isn’t the pace, but rather keeping a steady rhythm.


The question now is: Can you endure?

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Faking Female Orgasms: You Big Faker!

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Why oh, why do women fake it?

For many men, the fact they’ve never had any complaints confirms they’re a stallion in bed. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), many women will allow men to believe that little untruth, because as folks say, “Ignorance is bliss.”

We at My Female Orgasm believe communication is a key component in increasing sexual satisfaction. So remove those rose colored glass and allow us to let men in on a secret. Most women have faked or will fake an orgasm at some point in their lives.

Sound familiar? Yes… you may have already been a unsuspecting victim of a fake orgasm. To get to the bottom of this misleading disservice, it’s important to understand the rationale behind a fake orgasm.

To Get Sex Over

In a previous article, the idea of more is better was broached. On the other end of the spectrum, there comes a time when enough is enough.

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Sexual partners feed off one another

It’s almost as if arousal is contagious. Some women realize this and use it to their advantage. If she can convince him she’s reaching a peak, she knows there’s a good chance she can pull him over the edge also. And voila! Expended penis. Game over.

End the obligation to continue

Considerate men are wonderful. They strive to leave their partners sexually fulfilled and approach sex with an attitude of “Never give up! Never surrender!”

Here’s the thing: Sometimes a female orgasm just isn’t going to happen, for whatever reason. And those reasons may have nothing to do with him or his sexual performance. In fact, sex may have been great. Even without an orgasm, he may have left his partner well satisfied, and now she’s thinking, it’s time for sex to come to an end.

“Oh God! Oh yes! Yes! YES! YES! Oh!”

Now he knows he’s satisfied his sexual partner, giving him the freedom to transition to his own pleasure and release. A few spurts later, and she too can transition onto something else.

To Preserve the Male Ego

Whether it’s true or not, many women have heard how fragile the male ego is, especially when it comes to sexual performance. Society pounds the idea into the public (especially in the United States) that the penis plays a strong role in a male’s identity, and the feats he’s able to achieve with that special member says a lot about his status as a male (even if he’s not at liberty to share his sexual prowess with the world).

So where does the fake orgasm fit into all this?

Relationship building

As odd as it may seem, some women see a dishonest fake orgasm as a way to build on a relationship. Why? Because a female orgasm acts as a compliment. It’s a way of saying, “Job well done!” for her partner’s sexual performance. Not only do compliments puff up the ego, but it also shows appreciation.

Encouragement

Sometimes the sex is great, just not orgasmic. If the sexual event isn’t a solitary experience with the individual, and more sexapades are plan for the future, a fake orgasm can act as a bit of encouragement.

An orgasm is like a synapse. Either the synapse fires or it doesn’t. Either the orgasm happens or it doesn’t. Rather than giving the impression of missing the mark, some women may choose to give bonus points through the fake orgasm.


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One last thought for today

There are a variety of reasons women may fake an orgasm. Not all of them are listed here. This article isn’t a criticism for faking, nor is it endorsing fake orgasm. Rather, think of this article as an opportunity to gain some insight as to why women do fake orgasms.

In the near future, we’ll discuss reason not to fake an orgasm.

Willingness comes from understanding that every action has consequences, as does every failure to act. ~ Unknown

So what are some consequences of faking an orgasm?

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It’s Not Complicated: More Sex Is Better

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More is better than less. Not just with orgasms, but all things sexual in general. The more sex one has, the better it gets… in theory. This isn’t marathon sex we’re talking about here, but rather consistent regular sex.

Think about it. Sex isn’t something which needs to be divvied out like it’s a rare commodity. It’s like love… there’s always more. So let’s talk about why we should have more sex than less.

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#1 Understanding Your Body

It doesn’t matter if you have sex with a partner… or sex with yourself (and we all know you touch yourself). :) What matters is getting to know your body, understanding your likes and dislikes. After all, if you don’t know what you like, how success will you be in guiding your partner? Just as you’re getting to know your body, more sex also gives your partner more opportunities to discover you.

#2 Familiarity Leads to Comfortability

Let’s face it. At times, sex can be awkward and at times, just plain silly (such as those “oh oh faces” or queefing). Familiarity allows us to get past those embarrassing moments without missing a beat… or stroke. It also allows for couples to develop trust which can open the lines of communication.

#3 Muscle Memory

Is it taking too long to reach climax? Perhaps you’re not climaxing often enough. The mind remembers and so does the body. Increasing the frequency you have sex gives your body more chance to remember what it feels like to… well, feel good in a sexual kind of way.

#4 It’s Great Exercise

You’ve heard it before… exercise on a regular basis. It’s good for your heart. Wonderful for weight loss. Helps keep your cholesterol in check. The list goes on. Really, exercise just improves overall fitness. And what better way to get your exercise in than through sex? Sex is a fantastic exercise and burns about 300 calories an hour. Nice! On top of that, it’s a whole lot of fun. So, add that hour of exercise to your routine.

#5 Stress Relief

Had a hard day at work? Life hassles got you down? Have some sex. Sex is a natural way to lift your mood and increases dopamine in the brain. Dopamine? What’s that? It’s the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure. In fact, it’s where we get the term “dope.” Addicted to sex anyone?


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What are some other reasons for having more sex?

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For sexual fun by yourself or with a buddy… how about a vibrator or two. :) Don’t be shy. Remember more is better.

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